An excited grandpa
12/05/16 03:16
For as long as I can remember I have gotten excited about trips and traveling. When I was young I could barely sleep the night before a big trip. I loved the process of traveling. I loved the idea of going to new places. I loved the idea of the people we would visit.
Some of the passions of my youth have dimmed as I have grown older. The love of traveling has not. I still get excited when I have the opportunity to take a trip.
I’ve been anticipating today’s trip for quite a while now. We will be boarding an airliner at 6 am for a short flight to Denver where we’ll catch the flight to Seattle. In Seattle we’ll catch the shuttle bus to Olympia, home of our son, daughter-in-law and our two grandchildren. I know that our grandchildren get excited about the visit of their grandparents, but I’m not sure who is more excited because I know the grandparents are really excited about this trip as well.
I am a firm believer in vacations. I am well aware that the vocation to which I have been called can be demanding and that when your heart is in your work it is tempting to work so many hours that you become inefficient due to exhaustion. There are plenty of studies that show that peak efficiency requires adequate time for rest and relaxation. This isn’t rocket science. Our people have been aware of this at least since Moses received the ten commandments on Mt. Sinai. Over the years I have served on Committees on the Ministry and have argued on behalf of my colleagues for adequate vacation leave for clergy. I remember one conversation in which someone said that four weeks vacation was well above the standard for US workers. I asked the person how many weeks of vacation that person got. He responded, “Two.” I asked him if he would be willing to make a deal in which he got four weeks of vacation in exchange for having to work every other weekend of the year. He conceded that four weeks vacation for a pastor made sense to him.
For me it is more than just taking time off. After all there are many parts of my daily life that will continue on vacation. I’ll still send and receive email. I’ll still be available to the office by cell phone. I’ll still be thinking of the people in the congregation. But I will also be modeling for the congregation something that I think is important. Just as was the case when our children lived at home and I kept conflicts with family dinners to a minimum, it is important that I live my commitment to my family in such a way that it is visible to the congregation. I believe that spending time with family is something we all should be doing. Taking a week to be with my family is something that I want the congregation to see. And when I am with my family, they deserve my full attention and energy.
I’m also modeling important values for our children and grandchildren. They see my commitment to them. They are reminded that their lives and concerns are priorities in my life. The reason for the timing of this particular trip is that our son will be traveling to a professional conference and although we’ll get to see him at the beginning and end of our trip, much of the time our role will be to support his wife and children in his absence.
That all sounds serious. But the truth is that I’m excited because I know this week is going to be just plain fun for me. “Grandpa, read me a story.” “Grandpa, let’s go for a walk.” “Grandpa, can I have a sweet treat?” These words are music to my ears. I hear them regularly as we stay in touch with Skype, but there is something especially wonderful about face-to-face contact.
After all, my grandson once declared, in front of his sister, parents and us, “I think that the best story readers are grownup men with beards.” And his father does not have a beard. And neither of his uncles has a beard. And his other grandfather does not have a beard. I’m the only one that fits into that category. Ever since I heard him say that I have resolved that when ever asked, I will make myself available to read a story. And I do read to him over Skype. But for a week, I’ll be ready with a story whenever asked.
I can’t think of anything that I’d rather do this week.
There are times when I can feel a twinge of envy for the grandparents who live in the same town as their grandchildren. I have a friend who has two granddaughters within a couple of blocks of his home. But envy isn’t a very appealing trait and the truth is that we raised our children to be strong and independent and to make their own decisions. I am incredibly proud of our children and I wouldn’t want to restrict their ability to choose their jobs and places of residence.
From time to time I read in the newspaper columns the stories of grandparents who are cut off from their grandchildren. We are so fortunate that our children want us to visit and they trust us with our grandchildren. And in those children I can see a legacy of love that had been passed down for generations before it got to their great-great-grandparents.
My father died after we had announced that we were expecting but before the birth of our first child. My mother died after the expectations were announced but before the birth of our first grandchild. These precious new generations of our family always bring bittersweet memories to my mind. But I know that I see the traits of previous generations in the youngest members of our family. That is worth celebrating.
So don’t expect my blog posts to always be on time for the next week. I’ll keep writing, but it won’t be my first priority.
Reading stories comes before writing for this grandpa this week.
Some of the passions of my youth have dimmed as I have grown older. The love of traveling has not. I still get excited when I have the opportunity to take a trip.
I’ve been anticipating today’s trip for quite a while now. We will be boarding an airliner at 6 am for a short flight to Denver where we’ll catch the flight to Seattle. In Seattle we’ll catch the shuttle bus to Olympia, home of our son, daughter-in-law and our two grandchildren. I know that our grandchildren get excited about the visit of their grandparents, but I’m not sure who is more excited because I know the grandparents are really excited about this trip as well.
I am a firm believer in vacations. I am well aware that the vocation to which I have been called can be demanding and that when your heart is in your work it is tempting to work so many hours that you become inefficient due to exhaustion. There are plenty of studies that show that peak efficiency requires adequate time for rest and relaxation. This isn’t rocket science. Our people have been aware of this at least since Moses received the ten commandments on Mt. Sinai. Over the years I have served on Committees on the Ministry and have argued on behalf of my colleagues for adequate vacation leave for clergy. I remember one conversation in which someone said that four weeks vacation was well above the standard for US workers. I asked the person how many weeks of vacation that person got. He responded, “Two.” I asked him if he would be willing to make a deal in which he got four weeks of vacation in exchange for having to work every other weekend of the year. He conceded that four weeks vacation for a pastor made sense to him.
For me it is more than just taking time off. After all there are many parts of my daily life that will continue on vacation. I’ll still send and receive email. I’ll still be available to the office by cell phone. I’ll still be thinking of the people in the congregation. But I will also be modeling for the congregation something that I think is important. Just as was the case when our children lived at home and I kept conflicts with family dinners to a minimum, it is important that I live my commitment to my family in such a way that it is visible to the congregation. I believe that spending time with family is something we all should be doing. Taking a week to be with my family is something that I want the congregation to see. And when I am with my family, they deserve my full attention and energy.
I’m also modeling important values for our children and grandchildren. They see my commitment to them. They are reminded that their lives and concerns are priorities in my life. The reason for the timing of this particular trip is that our son will be traveling to a professional conference and although we’ll get to see him at the beginning and end of our trip, much of the time our role will be to support his wife and children in his absence.
That all sounds serious. But the truth is that I’m excited because I know this week is going to be just plain fun for me. “Grandpa, read me a story.” “Grandpa, let’s go for a walk.” “Grandpa, can I have a sweet treat?” These words are music to my ears. I hear them regularly as we stay in touch with Skype, but there is something especially wonderful about face-to-face contact.
After all, my grandson once declared, in front of his sister, parents and us, “I think that the best story readers are grownup men with beards.” And his father does not have a beard. And neither of his uncles has a beard. And his other grandfather does not have a beard. I’m the only one that fits into that category. Ever since I heard him say that I have resolved that when ever asked, I will make myself available to read a story. And I do read to him over Skype. But for a week, I’ll be ready with a story whenever asked.
I can’t think of anything that I’d rather do this week.
There are times when I can feel a twinge of envy for the grandparents who live in the same town as their grandchildren. I have a friend who has two granddaughters within a couple of blocks of his home. But envy isn’t a very appealing trait and the truth is that we raised our children to be strong and independent and to make their own decisions. I am incredibly proud of our children and I wouldn’t want to restrict their ability to choose their jobs and places of residence.
From time to time I read in the newspaper columns the stories of grandparents who are cut off from their grandchildren. We are so fortunate that our children want us to visit and they trust us with our grandchildren. And in those children I can see a legacy of love that had been passed down for generations before it got to their great-great-grandparents.
My father died after we had announced that we were expecting but before the birth of our first child. My mother died after the expectations were announced but before the birth of our first grandchild. These precious new generations of our family always bring bittersweet memories to my mind. But I know that I see the traits of previous generations in the youngest members of our family. That is worth celebrating.
So don’t expect my blog posts to always be on time for the next week. I’ll keep writing, but it won’t be my first priority.
Reading stories comes before writing for this grandpa this week.